Anti jokes

Anti jokes

anti jokes




Jokes can make you laugh but the Anti Jokes will make you laugh so hard that your tummy will start to hurt. The biggest attraction of the Anti Jokes is that they are not jokes but they will still make you laugh. You might have been surprised that that will happen.

Well! let us make it a little simple for you. The Anti Jokes are special punch lines that when you will start telling the jokes the other person will feel like something funny is about to come. However, nothing like that will happen because you will finish your sentence on a serious note and all the people in the room will be left wondering that what was that. Their amazing expressions and serious tones will you laugh and eventually everyone will start laughing. So remember that it is not always about the good jokes because sometimes you have to share some Anti Jokes to maintain the mood. 

    • What did the fox say
      Foxes dont talk so it promptly shit on the floor and left
    • What did the first avocado say to the second avocado?
      It didn’t say anything, avocados can’t talk.
    • Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
      Because she’s a woman
    • All men are created equal
      False. Explain midgets.
    • Have a really deep pimple?
      Try to pop it. It will heal faster.
    • Have a grumpy new year
      No seriously. Make a resolution to be grumpy. Chances are you’ll break it!
    • What did the elephant say to the naked man
      It’s cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?
    • I like my women how I like my coffee….without a penis.
    • What did the blonde say, when
      she lost her wallet?
      Where is my wallet?
    • What would George Washington do if he were alive today?
      Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin
    • What did the kid with one arm get for Christmas?
      Terminal brain cancer
    • What did the fox say
      Foxes dont talk so it promptly shit on the floor and left
    • Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas?
      No you can have turkey like everyone else.




Best Anti Jokes

    • When do you know your girlfriend is cheating you?
      When she’s naked with someone else
    • What did the Turrets Guy say to the Lawn mower?
      Bob Saget!
    • What does a gay horse eat?
      Usually grass and plant materials
    • Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone?
      He got hit by a car and was unable to maintain his grip.
    • How do you confuse a blonde
      Paint yourself green and throw forks at her
    • Why did they build the Mercedes plant so close to the University of Alaska ?
      Because they have an endless supply of crash test dummies right down the road.
    • If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45 how many does he has?
      Diabetes. John has diabetes.
    • How do u stop a clown from smiling?
      You hit it with an axe
    • A priest, A rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar
      They order drinks
    • Why did bobby drop his ice cream?
      He was hit by a bus.
    • Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can’t see.
    • Why did the paramedic cross the road?
      Because there was a dead kid in the middle
    • What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
      Where is my tractor?
    • What do fags call hemorrhoids?
      Speed bumps!
    • What do you call a muslim man taking control of an airplane?
      A pilot
    • So this horse walked into a bar..
      OMG, somebody might get injured. Call the department of animal care & control
    • Why is it not funny to compare Evan Cluster to Justin Bieber?
      Because he isn’t Justin Bieber
    • Why was six afraid of seven?
      It wasn’t. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.
    • So why did the anti-joke triceratops cross the road?
      I dunno but I’m here now so stfu
    • What do you call a black person on the moon?
      An astronaut you racist bastard.
    • How do you starve a Somali?
      Leave him in somalia
    • What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
      Nothing they just waved
    • Carlos has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carlos have?
      Diabetes. Carlos has diabetes




More Funny Anti Jokes

    • What do you call a kid with one arm, one leg, And an eye patch?
      Names
    • Why do Black people eat fried chicken?
      Because it tastes good.
    • What did the fox say
      Foxes dont talk so it promptly shit on the floor and left
    • Bryan’s « hilarious » jokes
      When exactly do they begin occurring?
    • What’s the funniest element?
      Arsenic
    • Why can’t dinosaurs talk?
      Because they’re all dead.
    • A man walks into a bar
      Not like a bar where you drink but like a pole… So it hurt.
    • Last Christmas,
      I gave you my heart,
      The very next day,
      Your body rejected the transplant and you died.
    • Why was Kevin Bacon hugely popular in the 80’s?
      Because he starred in Footloose which was a major success
    • What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say « excuse me ».
    • You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.
    • Do not follow, for I may not lead. Do not lead, for I may not follow. Just go over there somewhere, please?
    • Kevin Bacon with no achilles tendon?
      Footloose
    • Where did Sally go during the explosion?
      Everywhere!
    • Why was the black man good at basketball?
      Because he practiced
    • What a carbon said to the nitrogen?
      Nothing, he is a fucking chemical element
    • Why did the boy fall of the swing?
      Because he had no arms
    • A dyslexic man walks into a bar and orders a beer.
      No one was aware of his affliction.
    • Do not follow, for I may not lead. Do not lead, for I may not follow. Just go over there somewhere, please?
    • I’m so bright my mother calls me son.
    • What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor
      Wheres my tractor
    • A businessman walks into a forest
      Then the forest disappears
    • How do you stop a clown from laughing?
      Hit it in the face with an axe.
    • They’re trying to censor the internet?
      Thats Sopa-Thetic
    • Why are friends like balloons?
      When you stab them, they die.
    • A Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says « Why the long face? »
      The horse replies « I have cancer. »
    • You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.
    • Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
      Because he was dead.
    • What’s green and has two wheels?
      Grass. I lied about the wheels.
    • Why did the chicken cross the road?
      Chickens belong in coops.

Let people think where the joke was

We know that you are sick and tired of the joke man in your office who thinks that he knows all the jokes and he has the power to make everyone laugh. However, not this tie because now you have your own set of Anti Jokes that he will surely not know about and it will give you an edge over his knowledge of jokes. So it is the time that you get started.

1. When you will start telling the joke you will notice that there will a huge smile on the face of everyone because they are expecting something really funny.

2. However, when you will end your joke everyone will be surprised because they were not expecting something so serious that will leave them shocked.

3. Make sure that you know the joke guy is listening to you because he is the only one in the crowd who would have the wort expressions.

4. Most of the people will think that you are going to continue the joke but when you will not they will understand that you have been telling an Anti Jokes.

5. Make sure that you keep the tone funny and then suddenly change it into the serious tone because that is the only way you can do justice with the Anti Jokes.

Set the mood and make them groan

When you will start telling the Anti Jokes most of the people will give you serious faces and groans showing that you have wasted their time. however, within few seconds they will understand the meaning of the joke and what you were trying to say, and their laughter will be uncontrollable. They will appreciate your talent of converting a joke into a serious thought and how you have been able to maintain your expressions.

If you are having a joke challenge or you have to make someone laugh make sure that you use the Anti Jokes. The reason is that there are chances that they have not heard all these jokes before. As well as when you will start telling them some serious lines it will get hard for them to control their laughter and you will win the challenge. There is no need to go anywhere else looking for the jokes. We have the biggest collection of Anti Jokes here for you. So just get started and make people laugh. 




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