Daily Funny jokes, Tha Jokes

Chuck Norris jokes

Best Chuck Norris jokesWe all Chuck Norris as he is the legends and he has shared some of the most amazing jokes. We have the best Chuck Norris jokes for you that will make it hard for you to control your laughter. Chuck Norris jokes are funny, sassy and unique.

 

    • The dinosaurs once made fun of Chuck Norris… Once…
    • One day Chuck lost his wedding ring, since then it’s a mess in the middle earth.
    • Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at burger King and got one.
    • Chuck Norris was born in a house built by him.
    • Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best damn lemonade you’ve ever had.
    • Chuck Norris was pulled over by a cop. The cop got a ticket.
    • The fisrt rule of Chuck Norris is:
      You do not talk about Chuck Norris
    • Chuck Norris counted to infinity-twice.
    • Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
    • Contrary to popular belief. There is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
    • Chuck Norris played Russian roulette with a fully leaded gun an won.
    • Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindness and possibly foot-sized bruises on the face.
    • Chuck Norris once put out a forest fire using only gasoline
    • Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn’t stopped spinning
    • Chuck Norris can speak russian…in Chinese…
    • They found Chuck’s diary… It is now known as the guiness book of world records.
    • Chuck Norris was born may 6th 1945, The nazis surrendered may 7th 1945…
    • Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris
    • The only thing written on Chuck Norris’s passeport is ”it’s me”.
    • Chuck Norris Has been to mars.
      That’s why there are no signs of life
    • Chuck Norris knows the las digit of the irrational number ”pi”.
    • Chuck Norris can punch a cyclops between the eye.
    • Half life 3 waits for Chuck Norris.
    • Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
    • How many push ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them!
    • Chuck Norris once collored a picture with a pencil.
    • Chuck Norris can eat the hole of bagel.
    • Chuck Norris wants his meat so rare, that he only eats Unicorns.
    • Chuck Norris can talk about Fight Club.
    • Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting. ”Hunting” is a word that shows possible failure. HE GOES KILLING!
    • Chuck Norris dosn’t read books. He stares them downn until he gets the information he wants.
    • How much weed would a weedchuck chuck if a weedchuck could Chuck Norris?
      All of it!
    • Chuck Norris built the hospital that he was born in
    • Chuck Norris once gave a box of watches to some kids. They are known as the Powers Rangers.
    • Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience
    • Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
    • Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer. He has never cried.
    • Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
    • Chuck Norris Can build a snowman out of rain.
    • Chuck Norris doesn’t have a fence, He has sign that says ”I dare you to
    • Chuck Norris Cheated on his English test… With a calculator
    • Chuck Norris killed a army of 5000 with 2 shots, the first one was a warning.
    • Chuck Norris doesn’t have a bank account, he just tells the bank how much he needs
    • Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
    • When Chuck Norris wathces Dora, she doesn’t ask any questions.
    • Chuck Norris once flushed a condom… Three weeks later the Ninja Turtles were born.

 

Chuck Norris Jokes? False, Chuck Norris facts…

 

    • Chuck Norris was once on American Idol…He won using sign language.
    • Chuck Norris lost his virginity before is dad.
    • Chuck Norris actually died in 1989. Death is just afraid to tell him.
    • Chuck Norris remembers tomorrow.
    • Chuck Norris does not wear condoms, because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
    • There are no more Settlements, that need Chuck’s help.
    • Universe keeps stretching due to their fear of Chuck Norris.
    • Chuck Norris beat the nazis at same day he was born.
    • The chief expert of Chuck Norris is pain.
    • Chuck Norris is so fast. he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
    • If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear? Yes Chuck Norris hears it.
      Chuck Norris can hear everything.
    • There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
    • Chuck Norris doesn’t need a GPS, he decides where he is.
    • When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.
    • Once, Chuck Norris dug a hole with a spoon also know as the grand canyon.
    • Once Chuck Norris had a F in Latin, since it’s a dead language.
    • Chuck Norris went around the world… By standing still.
    • When Chuck Norris looks at himself in a mirror, there is no reflection. There only be one Chuck Norris.
    • Chuck Norris Gmail account: gmail@chucknorris.com
    • Chuck Norris did not join The Air Force, The Air Force joined Chuck Norris
    • Chuck Norris hit 11 out of 10 targets with nine bullets
    • Chuck Norris once tried surfing, witch started a Tsunami
    • The Bermuda triangle is actually the location of Chuck Norris’ Dojo
    • When Chuck Norris crosses the street, th ecars have to looks both ways
    • Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon from a landline
    • Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game…With a golf ball
    • Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest
    • Chuck can hear sign language
    • Chuck Norris doesn’t cut gras. The grass knows, that better and keep it self low.
    • Chuck Norris once had a race with time. And time is still running.
    • Chuck Norris build sandcastles too, when he has a child, but we know them as the pyramids.
    • Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.
    • Then Chuck robs two fire at each other, he hets a stick.
    • Chuck gabe a horse an uppercut. this was the first giraffe .
    • Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in God. God believes in Chuck Norris.
    • Nature answers Chuck Norris call.
    • Superman challenged Chuck Norris on arm wrestling. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.
    • Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
    • Chuck Norris did in fact build Rome ain a day.
    • Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch: HE decides what time it is.
    • Chuck Norris uses a nightlight. Not because he’s afraid of the dark. but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
    • When Chuck Norris does a push-up. He isn’t lifting himself up:
      He’s pushing the Earth down.
    • Chuck Norris does not own a stove. ever or microwave because revenge is a dish best served cold.
    • If, by seme incredible space-time paradox. Chuck Norris would ever fight himself. He’d win. Period.
    • When Chuck Norris was born. The only person who cried was the doctor.
      Never slap Chuck Norris.
    • Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris.But usually they grow up just ti be killed by Chuck Norris.
    • When you’re Chuck Norris. Anything + anything is equal to one-one roundhouse kick to the face.
    • Chuck Norris grinds his coffe with his teeth then boils the water with his own rage.
    • When there’s a meteor shower, Chuck Norris grabs a bar of soap
    • Chuck Norris uses pepper Spray to season his meat
    • In sign language, a roundhouse kick to the face is how you say the name ”Chuck Norris.”
    • Chuck Norris’ Blood type is A-K 47
    • Chuck Norris Frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
    • Chuck Norris can never fill out online form because he will never submit.
    • Chuck Norris once climbed mount Everest, sleepwalking

You may also like Blonde Jokes, Hilarious jokes, Clean Jokes or Stupid Jokes

Spread Tha Jokes!
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Top