Funny sex jokes
One thing you guys need to know is that I’m into ladies a lot. I love ladies so much that I consider them a blessing from heaven. Beautiful pair of boobs, a big ass? Nothing more can make me happier that. It’s a pleasure-loving ladies, and that’s what I’ll spend the rest of my life doing “loving ladies.” Have you any problems with that? Go through the holy bible and see. The richest and wisest man who ever lived had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Man, that’s a real Gee, that’s a real man unlike weak and lazy men today that can handle a single lady. If you cant handle a simple “MADAM,” come to me for tutorials “ SIR-DAM” you need tutorials, stop being a weak man. All those ladies make mockery outta you in private, talk to me “SIR-DAM” I will fix your problems.
Imagine Solomon having a thousand ladies to himself and he doesn’t complain and he didn’t die young. How I wished he lived in our time. Mr Solomon, ladies have evolved don’t try them again cos they’d finish you. I wonder the size of your rod. It would be the largest in mankind’s history. You are a unique nigga man! Rest in Peace. I’m planning on being your predecessor. I’m fit for the job. I’ll give these ladies the rod of life.
I can see you are engrossed in that first paragraph. There’s a part you didn’t read in the line “the size of your rod” I know you went back to read that statement. But why?????????? Anything involving sex, your mind is hypersensitive. Sir-dam and ma-dams your minds are dirty. Any sex-related joke or any funny sex joke never leaves your mind. They can stay there for eternity. I just said ‘rod,’ and I see a series of movies running in your minds. Why are you smiling? Cos I got you right. That other lady is **t already. And that other guy. Anyway, this section is “dirty sex jokes section” I think I’d group the guys and ladies in different sections each. If your PPT ain’t hairy, get your ass straight to Compton. Make sure you control your libido in this section. I won’t be responsible for any dirty stuff. I, being a saint; I’m going to the temple to worship. My filthy assistant will handle the rest. See ya.
I’m going to the temple to worship. The first thing I do is to go through the book of “Songs of Solomon.” I can recite that part of the bible without mistakes, and I expect my congregation to do so as well. Whenever I preach to my group, they know the deal. We read the first chapter of songs of Songs of Solomon and digest it then each member recites it until they understand it correctly. If you don’t describe it well in three trials, then you’d be in a hot, sour and peppery stew. Won’t you want me to cook you right? Then come and worship with us at our site. Service days remains the same. I have a joke communion for y’all.
1. I fucked
2. When she asks if you pulled out and you say yeah
3. How I be looking when I know my evil ass is
about to fu*k someones day all the way up
4. What do Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium want to do together?
5. Girls be like … All the guys think about is sex
Bitch please …
6. The day i realized i didn’t no bitch to bust a nut
7. I can’t have children
8. When you agreed to eat her ass then find out she doesn’t shave
9. When a bitch who didnt fuck say she hungry
10. -When you told her to come over to chill
and watch Netflix but she keeps pressuring you to have sex
11. When she complaining during sex.
Shut the fuck up and enjoy the greatness.
12. -When you been ridin his dick reverse cowgirl
for 15 minutes straight and he asks if you’re ready for anal.
13. When bae asks what you got him for Valentine’s Day.