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Lesbian jokes

funny lesbian jokesWe all know that we should not make fun of the lesbians but let us all be honest when we can have jokes of white and black people then why not enjoy the best Lesbian jokes. Even if you have the lesbian friends they will enjoy the jokes.
Some of the Lesbian jokes are funny and others are sassy and sexy. So when you get on this ride with us we guarantee that with every coming joke your laughter will become louder. The Lesbian jokes are for everyone to enjoy. The jokes mean no harm to anyone and you can tell them to your friends. You will surely want more when you are done with our list of funniest Lesbian jokes. These jokes will make you laugh so hard that you would not like to stop.

 

    • What do lesbians do after an argument?
      They go home and lick each others wounds.
    • You have to hand it to Lesbians, they make some great films.
    • Have you heard about the new treatment doctors are prescribing depressed lesbians?
      Its called Trydicagain.
      Two lesbians were bathing together. So one girl asked her the other one; « How come you have very little pubic hair on your pussy? » The other girl replied with this question, « Hey, have you ever seen tall grass on a busy road? »
    • A lesbian goes to a gynaecologist and the gynaecologist says « I must say, this is the cleanest pussy I »ve seen in ages. » »Thanks, » said the lesbian. « I have a woman in 4 times a week. »
    • What’s the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?One »s a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.
    • A Welshman, an Irishman, a Paki, Jimmy Carr, two lesbians, a Jew and my neighbour »s nine-year-old daughter walk into a bar.The barman screams, « DUPLICATE! » And then he says something bad about Americans.
    • What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?
      My pad or yours?
    • What’s a lesbians favorite type of restaurant?
      “All you can eat muffet.
    • How do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
      Lickalotopuss
    • What do you call a virgin Popsicle?
      A cherry pop
    • Roses are red
      Violets are fine
      I’ll be the 6
      Will you be the 9?
    • Why do lesbians suck at cooking?
      Cause they always eat out!
    • What do parsley and pubic hair have in common???
      Nothing,you push them both to the side before you start eating!
    • What do u call a lesbian with long finger nails?
      Single
    • What do you call an open can of tuna fish in a lesbian’s apartment?
      Potpourri
    • What do you call two lesbians with their period?
      Finger painting
    • You are probably familiar with the story of the Dutch boy who put his finger into a hole in the dyke. Well, the story is wrong, it was a Dutch girl!
    • What is the leading cause of death in lesbians?
      Hairballs
    • Lesbians swear they’re mens, until its ladies free before 12
    • If lesbians aren’t attracted to men
      Why do they date women that look like men?
    • What do you call two Lesbians in a canoe?
      Fur traders!
    • What do you get when you mix lesbians and ice cream?
      A Klondike Bar!
    • Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
    • A lesbian went to the gynecologist one day, and as the doctor is examining her, he remarked, « My, aren’t we clean today. »
      « Yeah, » replied the lesbian, « I have a woman who comes in twice a week! »
    • How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb?
      19! One to change the lightbulb and 18 to make a documentary about it!
    • Hat is the leading cause of death among lesbians?
      Hairballs!
    • I recently came out of the closet, about being a lesbian, in front of my parents. I was a bit nervous as to how they would react but they took it surprisingly well, especially my dad. He asked me what my girlfriend looked like then ran quickly upstairs to the bathroom.
    • What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
      « See you next month! »
    • Apparently, lesbian « couples » are now trying to adopt children, but many are insisting on female children. Is it just me, or is there something really suspicious about that? I mean, I don »t mind, it »s just that I »m jealous that they won »t let me join in.
    • A lesbian goes to a nutritionist because she has indigestion. The nutritionist says, « it »s simple – you are what you eat. » So the lesbian turns to her and says, « are you calling me a cunt? »
    • At the weight watchers a fat lesbian is told: You are what you eat. She get angry and says: What are you calling me a cunt?
    • What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? …
      Well hung.
    • What do you call 4 lesbians in a closet A licker cabinet
    • Lesbians must hide their fingers when shooting pictures, we’re tired of their private parts shuu
    • Where is a lesbians favourite place to go
      All you can fuck
    • You know why lesbians don’t diet?
      Because you can’t eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face…hmmm?
    • Wha do Asian lesbians eat?
      “Pussie”
    • A lesbian walks into a bar The waitress asks the lesbian what can I get you and lesbian says your fine fish hold the hair
    • Why are men closet lesbians?
      They are clitoris challenged, vulva deficient and know fuck-all about the art of loving.
    • What do Asians and lesbians have in common? They both eat pussy.
    • What do you call a male gay dinosaur?
      Homo-sore-ass
    • What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like?
      Depends
    • How do you drive a lesbian up the wall??
      Put a Crack on the ceiling
    • What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
      Lick-a lot-o-pussy
    • Little girl was asked by her teacher “Jessica why did you bring your cat to school?” Jessica was crying and panicking “Because mommy said to Laura that she was gonna eat her pussy after I left for school.”
    • What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung
    • There is this family with three kids, two girls one boy. The oldest which is a girl tells there mother that she is gay. About 5 years down the road the other daughter also tells their mother that they are gay and the mother says does anyone in this house like dick? The little boy comes up and says i do mommy.
    • A lesbian goes to a gynecologist. The gynecologist says “I must say, this is the cleanest pussy I’ve seen in ages.” “Thanks,” the lesbian says. “I have a woman in 4 times a week.”
    • Did you hear about the Essex girl lesbian?
      She kept having affairs with men!
    • Scientists have been developing a drug for lesbians with depression
      It’s called « trycoxagain »
    • What’s the difference between a Trisket and a lesbian?
      A Trisket is a snack cracker and a lesbian is a crack snacker!
    • Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?
      They’re called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
    • What do you call 2 0 lesbians in a closet?
      A licker cabnet.
    • What’s the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz?
      One is a snack cracker!
    • Lesbians can also take Viagra.
      They don’t have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
    • So there is a car full of lesbians and a car full of gay guys…heading from Chicago to Detroit. Who makes it there first?
      The lesbians because they were doing 69 the whole way while the gay guys were still in Chicago, packing their shit.
    • What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?
      A Klondike!
    • What’s the definition of Frenzy?
      Two blind lesbians walking through a fish market!
    • My number one sexual fantasy actually came true this weekend – to go to bed with two lesbians!
      Now my number one sexual fantasy is to go to bed with two lesbians who actually look like women.
    • What’s the difference between Ant and Dec and lesbian sex?
      Nothing. They »re both just a couple of cunts bouncing off each other.
    • Why did God create lesbians?
      So feminists couldn »t breed.
    • How many nails are used to make a lesbian »s coffin?
      None – it »s all tongue and groove
    • What is a lesbian’s favourite sexual position? …
      The Dutch Position: stick a finger in a dike.
    • The lesbians next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday. very nice, but i think they misunderstood when i said i wanna watch!
    • Why do lesbians usually have short hair?
      Because the use all their hair styling tools on each other.
    • The other day a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently HD was the wrong answer.
    • What do you call a lesbian?
      Vanessa
    • What do you call a man’s vagina?
      Mangina
    • What do you call a lesbian cat?
      A pussy cat
    • So the doctor came out with a new medication for lesbians…it’s called trymenagain
    • Why did the lesbo stick a potato up her vagina?
      So her girlfriend could enjoy some chips with her fish.
    • How do you make a lesbian anorexic eat?
      Put pussy hair around her dinner plate.
    • Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?
      Neither. They both eat out.

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