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Racist jokes

funny racist jokesRegardless of your skin color, belief or country you can never be protected from the Racist jokes. So instead of being angry at the jokes, it would be more fun if we all stick together and enjoy some of the funny Racist jokes.
The best Racist jokes are the sassy and funny that would make you laugh hard. You cannot imagine the fun you will have without the violent taunts and hatred. Once you start reading the Racist jokes you will find it hard to stop and the real fun will begin. Make sure that you share all the Racist jokes with your friends and make them laugh because racism can be fun.

 

    • What do you get if you cross a Jew and a Mexican?
      A janitor who thinks he owns the building!
    • What do you call it when there aren’t any whiteys at a party?
      Crackalackin’
    • Don’t make Asian jokes, it’s wong
    • What do you get when you cross a black with a Vietnamese?
      Nothing. There are some things even a Vietnamese won’t do.
    • Did you hear about the two Scottish queers?
      Ben Doon and Phil Mcrevis!
    • Just 3 days after its launch Apple sold more than two million iPhone 5s in China.
      So even in China, the best gifts are always the ones your kids make.
    • Two missionaries walk into a Chinese restaurant. The waiter asks what style they want their rice. How do the missionaries respond?
      We want it DOGGIE style with extra boy sauce.
    • What do you call a Vietnamese woman with one leg?
      Irene.
    • What do you call a Filipino walking a dog?
      A vegetarian.
    • Why do police dogs lick their asses?
      To get the taste of black of their mouths!
    • How do you get a black to wear a condom?
      Put a Nike logo on it!
    • What do you throw a drowning black?
      The rest of his family.
    • Why cant white men jump?
      They were too busy making racist jokes.
    • 2 things wrong with my sons new partner
      He’s black
    • How was break dancing invented?
      blacks trying to steal hubcaps from moving cars.
    • What’s the difference between a white naked woman and a black naked woman?
      The white girl is seen in Playboy and the black chick is seen on National Geographic
    • Two reasons why it’s so hard to solve a redneck murder:
      1. The DNA all matches.
      2. There are no dental records.
    • White folks, there are no ghost.
      If there were, slaves would come back kill all of yall
    • What do you call 100 black guys buried from the neck down?
      Afro Turf.
    • How do you get blacks outside?
      Throw in a job application.
    • African American CoWorker: Can I get access to the Color Printer?
      Me: In this day and age, you have access to any printer my friend.
    • Why are black people so afraid of chainsaws?
      Because when you start them it goes: Run nigga nigga nigga…
    • How was shit invented?
      God smashed a black and gave it a better smell!
    • Why don’t black women wear panties to picnics?
      To keep the flies off the chicken.
    • What do you have if you’ve got a black up to his neck in cement?
      Not enough cement.
    • How do you disable a Pakistani tank?
      Hide the wind-up key.
    • White people lock their car doors when they see a black person
      but be sleeping on the side of cliffs and shit
    • People are like teeth…
      …The whiter the better
    • How many white girls does it take to screw in a light?
      None, white girls cant screw
    • Why do blacks call white people « honkies »?
      Thats the last noise they hear before the white people run them over.
    • White people always say some gay shit when they’re mad « Wow Mark left me with all this work, he really fucked me in the ass man »
    • Why did God invent golf?
      So white people could dress up like blacks.
    • What does a white woman and a tampon have in common?
      Theyre both stuck up cunts.
    • How often did the Asian cow go to the gym?
      Dairy
    • What’s yellow and black and makes you laugh?
      A bus full of blacks going over a cliff.
    • Just got out of prison after attacking a man on New years eve.
      Excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from ten.
    • What’s the difference between a catfish and an Arab woman?
      One’s got whiskers and smells. The other is a fish!
    • What do you call an Arab roofing contractor?
      Shiite on a shingle!
    • What does the arabs put in their Mexican food??
      Allah-penos
    • An Arab enters a taxi……….
      Once he is seated he asks the cab driver to turn off the radio because he must not hear music as decreed by his religion and, in the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music which is music of the infidel’s and certainly no radio ……..
      So the cab driver politely switches off the radio, stops the cab and opens the back door.
      The Arab asks him: « What are you doing man? »
      The cabby answers: « In the time of the prophet there were no taxis.
      So get out and wait for a camel. »
    • Why are camels called the submarines of the desert?
      Because they are filled with Arab semen
    • Why did god give the Irish potatoes, and the Arabs oil?
      He gave the Irish first choice!
    • Why did the Mexican throw his wife off of the roof?
      Tequila
    • There were 3 brothers from China, Bu, Chu and Fu. When they moved to America, they decided to change their names. Bu changed his name to Buck. Chu changed his name to Chuck. And Fu… well, he had to go back to China.
    • What do you call a white bitch shaking her ass?
      An ironing board with massage features.
    • As a white man, it’s hard to deal with the fact that I have a far greater chance of becoming a serial killer than I do of becoming a rapper.
    • How do you know if an Chinaman robbed your house?
      Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway.
    • What did the Asian parents name their retarded baby.
      Sum ting wong
    • Chinese people are so petty when it comes to extra sweet and sour sauce.
    • Why are there so many girls in a Chinese strip club?
      Because of all the wangs
    • What do you call a fight between two Chinese lesbians?
      A Tong war!
    • Where do Asian voyeurs come from?
      Peking.
    • What is a Filipino’s idea of devastation?
      It’s where you catch de bus.
    • A black and a spic fall from a tree, who hits the ground first?
      The spic, the black never makes it because he’s stopped by the rope.
    • How many men does it take to carry a black’s coffin?
      Eight. Six to carry the coffin and two to carry the stereo!
    • What sign does an epileptic black where around his neck?
      « I am not breakdancing! »
    • Had a lot of black friends when I was a child
      Until my father sold them all
    • Did you hear about that one Mexican that went to college? Yeah.. me neither
    • Why are black peoples eyes red after sex?
      Pepper spray
    • What do you call a black hitchhiker?
      Stranded.
    • Why are black people hard to see at night?
      Because prisons dont allow visitors after dark.
    • White parent quotes:
      Are you havin sex?
      Black parent Quotes:
      You better not be f*ckin, Cuz I ain’t raising no grand-babies!
    • What is the worst 3 years of a blacks life?
      First grade.
    • How do you get a black out of a tree?
      Cut the rope.
    • I was on the bus the other day when a massive black came and sat next to me. I slowly started edging away from him and he said;
      « What, you think I’m gonna steal from you, cos I’m black? »
      « No, I think you’re going to steal from me because you have a fucking gun! »
    • Hulk Hogan doesn’t like blacks
      But his daughter sure does!
    • A black goes to the doctor in South Africa.
      He cries he’s got neck pains, the doctor tells him to strip his clothes and walk in four legs and stay for a while in every corner of the room.
      The black, get’s up in his feet and asks the doctor what’s the point:
      Well this because I have a new black table and I wanted to see where to put it!
    • Whats the difference between a black and a letter?
      You can send the letter back where it came from!
    • One does not simply screw with India
      Unless its Pakistan
    • What’s brown and black and looks great on a Pakistani?
      A Doberman.

 

Funny Racist jokes

 

    • Why did the Pakistani cross the road?
      Because the American government was subsidizing the construction of mango harvesting and preservation infrastructure in the region on the other side, allowing farmers with the necessary means to develop strong ties to American markets and earn significant profits.
    • Racism works both ways. Y’all gotta stop calling white folks crackers. The politically correct term is « Saltine American »
    • How do you stop five white guys from raping a white woman?
      Throw them a golf ball.
    • Whats the difference between a white man and a snake?
      One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake
    • What do you call a gang of white people?
      Cracker Stack!
    • What does a white man do at the club?
      Pout while all the colored folk are bumpin & grindin with all of his fine white bitches.
    • Do you know why so many blacks were killed in Vietnam?
      Because every time the sergeant said: Get down! they stood up and started dancing.
    • What do you call an Asian porn star?
      Wun-Hung-Lo
    • What do you call a Mexican with a new car?
    • Why dont Arabs have drivers and sex ed on the same day?
      The camels would get to tired
    • What is a turbine?
      Something an Arab wears on his head.
    • What do Arab’s yell out at a down town strip joint?
      Show us ya face!!
    • What does Al-Libi use for his defense during his trial?
      His alibi.
    • Why don’t arabs take their wives to soccer games?
      Because they jump the fence and eat the grass!
    • What would you call an Arab who owns a harem of cows?
      A milk Sheik!
    • The people of Saudi Arabia don’t like the Flintstones but the people of Abu Dhabi do.
    • I first discovered I was dyslexic when I went to an Abba themed party dressed like an Arab.
    • What do you do with a dead Texan who’s too big
      for his coffin?
      Give him an enema and put him in a shoebox.
    • How do you brainwash a Frenchman?
      Fill his underpants with water.
    • Every time I get my dick sucked by a white girl, I close my eyes & if I listen closely I can hear my slave ancestors cheering for me
    • Why did the white guy go to the black guy’s yard sale?
      To get his stuff back.
    • How do you blind an Chinese woman?
      You put a windshield in front of her.
    • What do you call a bench full of white people?
      The NBA!
    • What happens when a Mexican and an China man make a baby?
      A car thief who can’t actually drive is born.
    • Why did the California Gurl resolve to have only 3 children?
      She heard that one out of every four children born in the world is Chinese
    • What do you call a dumb Chinese prostitute?
      Wun Dum Ho
    • What do the Vietnamese do during erections?
      They vote.
    • What’s faster than a speeding bullet?
      A jew with a coupon!
    • Why do blacks call white people « honkies »?
      Thats the last noise they hear before the white people run them over.
    • Why do blacks wear wide-brimmed hats?
      So pigeons can’t shit on their lips.
    • What is the American dream?
      A million blacks swimming back to Africa with a Jew under each arm!
    • Mexican wins gold medal in pole vaulting?
      He had plenty of practice at the border
    • The KKK bought the movie rights to Roots, they play it backwards so it has a happy ending.
    • A lady nxt 2 me on the plane started 2 freak out when she realised I was pakistani. I laughed so hard my grenades nearly fell outa my pocket
    • Why do black people have white hands?
      Everyone has some good in them.
    • Why is the dragon the luckiest of the Chinese zodiac?
      Because it’s the only animal that the Chinese can’t eat.

 

Best Racist jokes

 

    • I don’t know if I’m Mexican or Hawaiian
      Filipino people problems…
    • Why do blacks keep chickens in their back yards?
      To teach their kids how to walk.I wouldn’t say he’s ugly, but when he was born the doctor turned him over and said, Look, twins.
    • How do you make a black nervous?
      Take him to an auction.
    • How does a black woman fight crime?
      She has an abortion.
    • Why do black people call each other Monica?
      You know good and well that’s not what they’re saying
      Monica…
    • We shouldn’t discriminate against gays. Discrimination is a crime
      and crime is for blacks
    • How do you stop a black from drowning?
      You don’t.
    • My dream is to move to India, or Pakistan.
      And become a cab driver.
      I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.
    • Did you hear that police have dug up Harold Shipman’s back garden.
      They found 25 more bodies, all of them Pakistani. The police think he has been doing a few foreigners on the side!
    • A machine invented 2 catch thieves was tested.
      In UK, It caught 50 thieves in 30 min, Spain: It caught 110.
      Pakistan: In 15 min machine was stolen.
    • Why do white people like to play hockey?
      Its the only other way to beat something black up if theyre not a cop.
    • What did the white redneck say to his wife when she told him their black neighbors was coming over for Christmas?
      So much for a white Christmas this year!
    • Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
      Its hard to find them in the snow.
    • Why are we so sure that Eve was African? If she were white, she wouldn’t have eaten that apple! She would say, « Is this organic? What would Oprah do? » If she had been Asian, she’d have eaten the damn snake!
    • How do you kill a cracker’s sister?
      Kill their mom.
    • What do you get if you cross the Australian cricket team with an OXO cube?
      A laughing stock.
    • What’s the difference between a catfish and an Arab woman?
      One’s got whiskers and smells. The other is a fish!
    • Black girls with acne look like Nestle Crunch bars
      A felon
    • Arab musical composers teach their children to play Haydn Sheik.
    • Why did the Arab trade his wife for an outhouse?
      Because the hole was smaller and the smell was better!
    • Did you hear about the winner of the Afghani beauty contest?
      Me neither…
    • A guy walked up to an Arab woman and said, « Excuse me, but can I smell your cunt? »
      Most certainly not! » said the Arab lady. »Oh,! said the guy, « It must be your feet then! »
    • An Englishman, American and an Arab were sitting in a bar one day talking about their families.The Englishman said, « I have ten kids at home and if I have another one then I will have a full soccer team! » « Well, » said the American, « I have 15 kids at home and if I have another one I will have a football team! » « But, » said the Arab smiling, « I have 17 wives at home and if I have another one I will have a golf course! »
    • What’s the difference between an Arab an ET?
      ET went home!
    • How do you get an Arab woman pregnant?
      Cum all over her feet and let the flies do the rest!
    • Whats black and white and red all over?
      A race war.

You may also like Black Jokes, Mexican jokes or White people jokes

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